luni, 12 septembrie 2011

kids

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find  North America   
MARIA: Here it is.   
TEACHER: Correct.  Now class, who discovered America ? 
  
CLASS:  Maria.  
____________________________________ 
  
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? 
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
_______________________________   
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'  
TEACHER: No, that's wrong   
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how spell it.    
(I Love this child)   
____________________________________________   
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.  
TEACHER: What are you talking about?  

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________  

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. 
 WINNIE: Me!  
__________________________________________     
TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?   
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________  

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with '  I.  '  

 MILLIE: I  is..  
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I  am.' 
 
 MILLIE: All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'        ______________________________________  
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?   
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________  

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his 
CLYDE
 : No, sir. It's the same dog. 
___________________________________
TEACHER: 
Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher. 

Cum ma pot schimba ?


- Cum ma pot schimba ?
- Tu esti tu insuti, asa ca nu te poti schimba pe tine, la fel cum nu te poti desparti de picioarele tale.
- Inseamna ca nu pot face nimic?
- Poti sa intelegi si sa aceepti acest lucru.
- Cum m-as putea schimba daca ma aceept asa cum sint?
- Cum te-ai putea schimba daca nu te accepti asa cum esti? Cine nu accepta nu se poate schimba: cel mult reprima.

Sursa: http://www.sensart.ro/despre-sine.html\

Viata mea a fost plina de nenorociri




„Viaţa mea a fost plină de nenorociri, dintre care majoritatea nu s-au întâmplat niciodată.”
                                                                                             (Montaigne)

Diferenta dintre sexul pe bani si sexul gratis


Diferenta dintre sexul pe bani si sexul gratis e ca sexul gratis te costa mai mult.
                                                              Brendan Francis 

Andrei

Noi nu mai vedem ce exista in realitate, noi nu ne vedem decat propriile ganduri.
 Lumea este ceea ce credem noi ca este. (Serge Kahili King)


Dragoste si razboi


Spun unii că e mai bine să faci dragoste decît război, dar dacă aveţi chef de amîndouă, căsătoriţi-vă!
   (Jerry Seinfeld)

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